Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize