i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
