i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
