if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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