We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize