Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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