I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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