They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize