My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
