And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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