no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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