Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Porn is love you can see.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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