the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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