What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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