she was so not down for the gang bang
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
