sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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