We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize