I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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