remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
