Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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