I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
