Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize