i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
