I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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