is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
