By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
