Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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