You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize