Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
