are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
