Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
