is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
