im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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