Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
