so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
