Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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