This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
