so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
