Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
