I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
