WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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