This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
