Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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