he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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