Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
