as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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