Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
