can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
