As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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