I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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