i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Shame - the story of my life.
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