i just had sex bonerless
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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