Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
