whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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