Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
