On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
