What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
