I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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