I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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