There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
