??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
